Our dog is at the beauty parlor today because, well, really because she stinks something awful but also because she is covered in burrs. As we are pulling in to the driveway after dropping off our baby at the sitters, my husband informs me that we have to go out and remove the weeds that are producing the burrs while the dog is at the cleaners. I informed him that I was not going to perform any manual labor while paying someone else to watch my kid. And also because it is hot out and I was wearing jeans and a hangover. Yeah, that’s right a hangover. I got drunk on pink champagne and chardonnay last night. And, while I’m not proud of it, I am proud of the fact that I am not obsessively terrorizing myself with guilt. I also had three glasses of wine on date night this week. But I went over two weeks with no drink and three weeks without getting drunk. I think that’s pretty fucking impressive. Progress not perfection – even The Big Book says that! My only real regret is the calories that I consumed because my weight has been steadily dropping since stopping. And my hangover is keeping me from exercising them off today. But I will make up for it tomorrow for sure! Maybe I’ll even get up and run in the morning. AND DO YOGA!
Oh, I wanted to explain why I decided to drink at all. I’ve been reading a couple of very interesting books on diet and emotional eating. There are two kinds of emotion eaters – permitters and restricters. I am most definitely a restricter – despite my inability to stop drinking once I start. But that is part of being restricter, too. I don’t allow myself to eat or drink certain things and eventually I lose it and pig out. So, my theory was that if I allow myself to drink occasionally it might minimize my preoccupation with it. And I wouldn’t feel so bitter about not being able to drink at all. Despite getting hammered last night, I still think it is a pretty sound concept. I mean, I don’t need to get DRUNK. But two glasses of wine once a week is good. Of course, the husband and I did decide to drink whatever we wanted on our impending trip to visit our families in New York and Vermont. However, I am still going to restrict myself on most days or at least try to. It is going to be pretty stressful with FIVE boy children that are all three and under save for my middle one. It is most definitely going to be an experiment in emotional and psychological terror for all involved. Luckily, we shall all survive.