I got drunk last night.  I was so proud of myself for staying sober that I got drunk.  It’s like there’s a little flame inside of me sometimes and it grows until I drown it in booze.  But, also, yesterday was the first day since I got back from Mexico that I was stressed about work and it was like there was nothing left for family stress at the end of the day.  And my oldest comes home today!

But – and I know this probably sounds like an alcoholic talking – I am really in a struggle for my soul here.  What is the sweet spot for me? I really don’t believe that totally denying myself alcohol is the right answer and I am definitely drinking much less and yet I have a headache today. :(.  Back to back yoga is my prescription and I am having a shamanic session this afternoon.  I want to be better.  I want to be healthy. I am sick of these demons.