Last night I threw the staple gun behind the fridge. I was going to say my husband’s staple gun but, in actuality, I am pretty sure that it is my staple gun. But my husband was using it and he is the one who left it on the kitchen counter and then the 2-year old (2yo) was trying to jack with it because, let’s face it, these days he has to jack with everything. (I guess not too much changes as they get older, huh?) Anyway, I was exhausted and PMSing and am SO SICK OF POWER TOOLS ON THE KITCHEN CABINETS! Yes, yes – I know that a staple gun hardly constitutes a power tool, but COME ON! There was also a four foot tall roll of window screen on top of the cutting board and an iPod dock and speakers ON THE FUCKING STOVE! Who does this? I want to put up barrier tape around the entire perimeter of the kitchen so that no one can enter and screw things up. If I leave crap in there, that’s one thing. But why does my mom have to leave piles of trash in the sink?! And we were gone all this last weekend only to come home and find piles of stinky, dirty dishes in the sink. WTF?! The sitter? My mom? Doesn’t really matter because whoever it is definitely falls into the category of people that I can’t yell at. Jesus H. Christ. Anyway. So, I threw the staple gun behind the fridge. It made a very loud CLINK as it hit those wire thingies on the back. My husband ask, “what was that?” Thinking that the 2yo was wreaking havoc again. But I demurely said, “nothing.” And went about my business like nothing had happened. It wasn’t until a couple of hours later when I was coming out of my own skin while trying to get the 2yo to go to sleep that my husband – quite timidly – poked his head in and asked where if I knew where the staple gun was. I shamefully replied, “behind the refrigerator.” Lucky for him, he kept quiet but I knew his eyes were almost rolling out of their sockets. The irony is – sort of – that he was working on a project that he was probably doing at least partly to make me happy. He was finishing the decorative window screens for the front of our house. But did he have to finish them in the middle of the living room? I finally got the 2yo down and walked out into the living room to hear the sound of the staple echoing like gunshots off the hardwood floors. Sigh. I really am woking on being happy no matter what. Being happy on the inside and it is working. I promise! I haven’t had a drink in almost a month – woohoo me! But SOMETIMES, exhaustion, hormones and too much diet coke and 85% cacao chocolate can unrest even the most peaceful of souls.