God was graciousness enough this week to give me ANOTHER invaluable, slap-in-the-face, opportunity for learning in the form of one of my children.I hope you are sitting down this but…I decided a few weeks ago that the time had come for me to get a job. My coaching business is doing great and growing as any startup business should BUT I am not yet making enough money to cover all the financial responsibilities that come along with a mortgage, three kids (one in private school and one in daycare) etc…wah, waah, waaah. AND I want to be able to continue to invest in myself and my business and the financial strain was starting to cause a rift in my marriage. So, HI HO, it’s off to work I go.Of course, because we are all exactly where we are supposed to be and having to get a job is all part of the Universe’s plan for me, a very well-paying consulting gig literally appeared out of nowhere last week. I mean, some guy I’d never heard of contacted me through LinkedIn and offered me a short term job. I’m literally still in shock about it but anyway – I found myself going back to work this past Monday morning.I’m not going to lie. I was trying to be grateful but I was mainly just crying in my smoothie over the fact that I was having to put on my big girl panties and do my hair and – you know – shower and be somewhere by 8:30am on a Monday morning. Instead of seeing that it was a MIRACLE that this job had materialized at just the right moment out of nowhere – I was just feeling sorry for myself.
When into the scene comes my middle son, Ian. Ian was literally crying in his leggos this fine Monday morning and I had a feeling I knew why. You see, it’s Thanksgiving this week and my oldest son, Aidan, goes to a private school and he got the whole week off from school. While Ian, goes to a public school, and he only gets Thursday and Friday off. The fact that Ian had to get dressed and go to school while Aidan was still lying in bed was more than Ian could stand.I could see that Ian was on the verge of tears (as I had been most of the morning) and so I asked him, “What’s the matter, Ian?”Ian said (dramatically), “It’s just too hard to explain.” I said, “Are you sad because you think it’s unfair that Aidan gets to stay home and you have to go to school?” It was like somebody turned on Niagara Falls.Ian started sobbing his little nine year old heart out. And I found myself consoling him by saying, “No, it’s not fair but it just it what it is and there’s no need to cry about it. You have just to go for a couple more days and then you’re done, too.”All the while the great cosmic hand of fate was slapping me about the face and head. “Okay, okay,” I said to the Universe, “I get it. You’ve handed me this consulting gig on a silver platter that will not only take the financial stress off our family but allow me to spoil my boys at Christmas in the matter that I have become accustomed to and all I can do is feel sorry for myself because I have to actually leave my house and go into an office on Monday morning. REALLY?!With my new found appreciation for my situation and a heightened sense of empathy for my son, I consoled him and cajoled into getting dressed and out the door.It is all about the story, my friends. It is all about the story that we are telling ourselves about whatever situation we find ourselves in. Literally, anytime we are stressed or sad it is because we are telling ourselves some bullshit story that things should be different than they are. But our belief that it should be different doesn’t make it so and only ends up with us feeling sorry for ourselves. And pissed off. Which leads to fights and drinking and over eating all that unhealthy stuff that we do to ourselves and others when our negative emotions get too freaking big for us to deal.So, the next time you find yourself throwing a big ol’ pity party for yourself, just pause. Take a breath. Ask yourself what fairy tale are you operating under? What story…what LIE are you telling yourself about how things should be? And then realize that you are not a victim. You are just making a choice to believe a negative story about the situation. Write a new one instead. Empower yourself. See you life as it truly is…one constant, evolving, difficult to always comprehend in the moment MIRACLE.Happy Thanksgiving, ya’ll.
xoxo, Jenni B
