Welcome to the next phase of our mutual development.
If you are reading this, then it is official. I am divorced. Far from dead, I find myself feeling reincarnated and alive for perhaps the first time in many years. It has been four years since I discovered my ex’s betrayal. Three years since I realized it was not my problem. Two years since I admitted to myself the gravity of the situation. Over a year since I filed for divorce. Less than seven months since I officially made it “through the narrow gate” and emotionally, mentally and physically got the fuck out.But that’s about him. I want to talk about me. I want to talk about two and half years ago when I flew all the way to California to spend the day with a woman I had followed online for years but had barely met in person. This was less than three months before I admitted to myself the gravity of my marital situation. At one point during the day, I was telling her the story of my marriage and my husband’s betrayal but I insisted that “he was the love of my life.”It was as if time froze in the moment and she fiercely raised her finger, looked me straight in the eyes and declared, “No. YOU are the love of your life.” In that moment, I see now, everything began to change for me. The thousand petal lotus slowly began to unfold and I sit here today a free woman. As a woman that has chosen again and again and again over these last two years to be the love of her own life and to putting my needs, my safety and my heart above all others.This process of disentanglement and taking a stand for myself and choosing myself and my children has been My Great Work. Not my coaching business. Or my writing. Or my corporate gig. Gifting myself the freedom of being alone, which came only after staring down the fear of being alone like it was the barrel of a gun, has been the hardest thing I have ever done. Giving up my dependence on needing to be in a relationship to feel safe and valuable was way harder than giving up booze.But in the process I have fallen in love with who I am. And with this work. For years now, the focus of my coaching business has danced around from niche to niche like a butterfly in a garden:
Find an Om of Your Own.Find Your True Calling.Be Happy. Be You.Have You Lost Yourself and Your Integrity in Your Relationship?
From this new perspective, I can clearly see that in the essence of each of them I was really trying to describe the same thing. I was always talking about self-love and authenticity. I was always talking about finding that deep connection to yourself and to the Divine. I was always talking about what it takes to truly “Be the Love of Your Own Life.” The trouble was that I hadn’t done that for myself. Now, I have.
So. New name. Bevill was my married name and reverting to my maiden name just didn’t feel right so I’ve picked a new one. From this day forward, I am Jennifer Rochelle. Jenni, for short, of course. Rochelle is a playful twist on my great grandfather’s first name and its deepest root comes from the word for rock. I like that. That feels good.
With a new name comes a new website (www.jennirochelle.com) that reflects my deeper understanding of my calling, which is to love, guide and support other women who are looking for a new beginning…those who are ready for Emotional Sobriety. When you head over there, please keep in mind that it is a work in progress and typos may exist. 🙂My practice will specialize in women recovering from trauma (especially betrayal trauma) and/or addiction but I am also here for those who simply feel like they’ve lost themselves somewhere along the way. Like me, many of you will check all those boxes.No more Om in Your Inbox. Sadly, I say goodbye to that catchy name and say hello to The LoveLetter instead. I am never going to be the kind of woman who cranks out weekly newsletters. (Part of being the love of your own life means making peace with who you are – thank heavens!) However, I will send out periodic essays and articles full of inspiration, wisdom and offerings to work with me if you, too, are ready to Be the Love of Your Own Life. And, most importantly, I will send you LOVE!That’s my big news for 2017. I’d love to hear from you if you have questions or comments so please email me at my new email – yay! firstname.lastname@example.org. If you think I sound crazy and you want to unsubscribe, you won’t hurt my feelings a bit but I hope you won’t because things about to start getting really juicy around here.
Until next time…xoxo, Jenni