Roy Moore was defeated this week in Alabama and, even though the margin was so close (1.5%), the light just outweighed the dark. This time.I think it’s no coincidence that The Last Jedi makes its debut this week and we are all worried about whether or not Rey will turn to the Dark Side.I know I am not alone in being just little too emotionally invested in Rey being able to say, “No,” to the power of the dark. With all of these wome
n coming forward with allegations of sexual harassment and assault right now, we need Hollywood to give us a strong female leader to rally behind more than ever.Maybe I’m wrong though and what we really need is for Kylo Ren to come back from the Dark Side. Maybe we need to see that a fallen man can be redeemed.I know this may not seem like the kind of stuff that I usually write about but, then again, isn’t?At the heart of the betrayed woman’s story is the Hero(ine’)s Journey. It is our battle within ourselves over whether or not we are ready to answer “the call” – to adventure, to the awakening, to the inevitable suffering that comes from saying, “Yes,” to either of those things.I don’t pretend that I am fully qualified to answer why the path to enlightenment always goes through suffering. But it does. I read recently that it is because nothing short of ego annihilation is motivation enough for us to give up the comfortable discomfort of denial.I am not saying that I am enlightened. If you don’t believe me, just ask my kids. But what I am saying is that I choose to believe that at some point my soul said, “Yes,” and I was lovingly cast out of my false paradise and awoke to find myself alone and in the desert.My own mentor said to me once that “when a woman goes into the desert, if she doesn’t have something to hold on to, she’ll go back.” Back to sleep. Back to the toxic relationship. Back to denial. Back to numbing out the pangs of longing in her heart and soul that come from the unanswered call.In order to make it in the desert, a woman has to believe in something bigger than herself. She has to be able to believe that her suffering has meaning. That it’s not pointless. The ability to find meaning is what empowers a woman to use her suffering to transform her life.Meaning gives her the ability to find the growth in the experience. It allows her to endure, become resilient and just a little bit (or a lot) stronger when she finally picks herself up off the floor.The women who are coming forward right now with their accusations against powerful men have been in the desert. I believe they finally feel safe to come forward because they can see that by coming forward and giving other women permission to do the same they are making meaning out of their suffering. They finally feel like their coming forward will make a difference.For the record, for those who question why it took these women so long, it takes a victim of child abuse an average of 33 years to come forward so these women in Alabama are right on time…in more ways than one.My heart, my gratitude and my admiration go out to these women for their role in keeping the balance in the force…for one more day. There is much work to be done though and it was not a landslide but a narrow victory but, in these kinds of battles, it almost always is.No matter what happens in The Last Jedi this week, I will hold in my heart that we can use this powerful story to remind us that we are each capable of good and evil and the balance between the two hangs in perilous balance in all of us at every moment. That is the human condition. That is free will.My prayer is that we all remember that those we now judge as the accused most likely suffered, too. Villains are not born but created when instead of finding meaning…they found only fear and shame.The path forward is to name the shame that binds us all. To bring sex addiction, harassment, trauma, abuse and betrayal into the light. God loves everyone no exceptions. Even though we all do bad things.Again, I’m not excusing or condoning bad behavior. Those who have harmed others should be held accountable. And I’m sure as hell not saying that you should stay in any relationship that causes you suffering.What I am saying is that maybe watching Rey fall will remind us how close we are to that moment. And, hopefully, if she does fall, Rey will find her way back to the light in 2020 when we all rush to the theaters again.Until then…may the force be with you. And…Be the Light.Xoxo, Jenni
