Today I wanted to talk about what to do when you miss your ex. What you can do when it happens, and some alternatives besides texting or reaching out to them.

In the moments when you find yourself really missing them, and grief and fear arise, pour love and compassion on yourself.

Instead of being judge-y, just say, “Of course I miss this person.” In addition to all the things that they did that were hurtful, they also made you feel seen, and loved, and heard, and other good things. They weren’t all bad, or you wouldn’t have loved them, so of course you miss them.

If you are at the end of a toxic, abusive relationship, everything that felt true about your life, and the hopes and dreams you were building — it all came crashing down. What does it mean, and what do you do now? It can feel really overwhelming.

Can you tolerate the uncertainty and allow yourself to be transformed?

I know it feels like you’re dying. At the mystical soul level, you are. That version of you wasn’t working. That life wasn’t working. And you know it.

A new version of you was born the moment you said no, and ended the relationship.

It is time to nurture and care for that baby version of yourself. Imagine there’s a little baby bird right here and now. How would you love, care, and nurture this version of yourself? Get really intentional about what you need.

In the moments you feel like reaching out to your ex, there’s usually some unmet need. Try to get clarity on what you need when the feelings arise. Slow down, sit down, journal, go for a walk and try to figure it out.

Put your hand on your heart, a hand on your belly, and ask yourself….

What do I need at this moment?

What is it that I need right now?

Honor your needs. This is how you learn to trust yourself. Wake up every morning and recommit to yourself and your values. Reclaim yourself and your future.

“I choose me, my values, and my safety over this relationship, and I’m not going to listen to those voices that want to call me back.”

This is such a beautiful place to learn to live.

xoxo, Jenni