What does it mean to become the love of your life?
As the love of your life, you don’t settle for anything less than your deepest desires. You have your own back and refuse to abandon yourself. You know that your worth is no longer dependent on anybody else.
You stop sacrificing the relationship with yourself to meet everyone else’s demands. You stop taking on society’s expectations…..or your mother’s!
You stop taking on what doesn’t belong to you. You stop sacrificing your needs.
Our sacrifice starts early, and it’s insidious. As little children, we looked outside of ourselves, to our caregivers, for safety, love, and attention. Dependence is a natural part of development. But, what happens when our needs aren’t met? Caregivers, even when they are doing their best, show up with their own life experiences, family of origin issues, and unresolved trauma.
When we don’t get our needs met growing up, we spend the rest of our life trying to get them met by other people and in relationships. It becomes a cycle. We become dependant on the roles we play in relationships with others–mother, wife, lover, employee, daughter —to get what we need.
But, anytime our self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth are dependent on something outside of us, it can be taken away. Our value, worth, confidence, meaning, calling, purpose comes from within. Stop believing the lie that it’s not inside you.
We transform the cycle and are on our way to becoming the love of our life when we identify our unhelpful relational patterns. Once we recognize and name the practices, habits, and behaviors that keep us stuck or small, we can transform them and learn to trust ourselves. Once we learn to trust ourselves and our intuition, we start tapping into creativity and joy.
Tell me, are you ready for joy?