Tuesday was International Women’s Day and I got to celebrate it in the most epic way – being interviewed by my coach and dear friend, Carin Rockind, during The Women’s Day Event which thousands of women were tuned in for, from a retreat in Costa Rica, in a fabulous new dress. Oh, and the interview after mine just so happened to be one of my personal sheroes, the famous Mama Gena. Seriously, pinch me!!
It was the biggest speaking gig of my career thus far, and a totally exhilarating, heart-opening, nerve-racking dream come true.
During this session I got to practice what I preach – showing up and being vulnerable, speaking your truth, owning your sexiness and your worth, and creating everyday intimacy.
Even though I’ve told my story of betrayal trauma, abuse, and survivorship so many times to so many women, I felt extra tender sharing my story during this event with thousands of women I’ve never met before. But I showed up with courage and authenticity. I allowed myself to cry. I allowed myself to be fully present.
I talked about how I turned my pain into power. I shared how women are unconsciously operating from negative core beliefs about sex that keep us disconnected from our bodies, our desires, our pleasure, and from intimacy.
It was a beautiful conversation with a lot of favorite moments. I’ve shared some them below…
Question: What is betrayal trauma?
Answer: Betrayal trauma happens when a person or institution that we rely on for safety and security betrays our trust. So, yes, it’s infidelity but it is so much more. It is when our family of origin doesn’t protect us or even abuses us, it’s what happened with the abuse scandal in the catholic church, it’s what I feel as a lifelong native Texan when the legislature passes yet another law that tells me that I don’t matter.
Question: What is a big sexy comeback?
Answer: A big sexy comeback is where you are brave enough to uncover those beliefs, to excavate them so that you can embrace your right to big love, great sex, a pleasure full life and everyday intimacy!!
Question: What is everyday intimacy?
Answer: The art of creating conscious intimate connections with ourselves, our bodies and our beloveds. And it has to happen in that order! Because until we first become intimate with ourselves, we cannot maintain intimacy with someone else.
Because otherwise the parts of ourselves that we don’t know, love and embrace – they become the voice, the stories that cause the big reactions, ruptures and disconnections.
Question: How can we create everyday intimacy?
Answer: Slow down, stay present and learn how to connect with our beloveds in ways that are meaningful to them:
- Taking a bath in the middle of the day with your partner
- Taking evening walks with your 10-year-old to hunt for toads
- Learning how to play Dungeons & Dragons with your teens
- Dropping everything to hear your best friend’s latest dating adventures
- Getting up early to have coffee and journal with yourself
Question: What is the first step every woman needs to take?
Answer: The first thing she needs to do is REMEMBER her body. All good things happen in the body – pleasure, desire, intimacy… and yet we – especially women – don’t live in our bodies. We’re stuck in our minds and there are so many reasons why this is true – philosophers, previous life experiences, the patriarchy – we’ve been living our lives in what I call the tiny attic of our minds when we have this whole beautiful mansion to live in.
What a beautiful experience it was to hold space with thousands of women on International Women’s Day. It’s an experience and an honor that I will be basking in the glow of for weeks to come.
If you would like to participate in my free masterclass, Remembering Your Body, click here to get instant access!