Welcome to my top five tips for surviving your first solo Christmas! Let’s start with an intention….
Don’t worry about getting it all right.
It’s not going to be perfect.
Let it be messy and glorious, which is its own kind of perfection.
Tip # 1:
Pick 5 delicious things you can do for yourself every day this holiday season–five simple acts of self-love. Choose what lights you up, makes you feel grounded, centered, loved, and appreciated. Choose nourishing food, a walk outside, extra snuggle time with kids or pets, extra cream in your coffee. Make it simple, and try to do them each day.
Buy yourself some presents, wrap them, put them under the tree. I know you’re out there doing everything for your kids–making sure they don’t miss a beat, keeping things consistent for them. Don’t forget yourself!!! It doesn’t have to be anything fancy; money may very well be an issue. But, wrap them, put them under the tree, and savor opening them.
If you don’t have your kids this Christmas or are going to be alone, make sure you spend time with someone special. On my second Christmas after my divorce, I didn’t have the kids, so I had a sleepover with one of my besties. I went to her house and spent the night. We exchanged presents on Christmas morning, hung out, and watched TV in our PJs. It really, really helped. This year, because of COVID, it might need to be a virtual gathering, but spend time with someone special if you won’t be with family.
Create new routines and rituals. You’re at ground zero. You get to define and recreate your holiday traditions (and rituals). Ask yourself these questions, and take a few quiet moments to let the answers come.
What new holiday traditions do you want for yourself and your kids?
How do you want to feel? What will give you joy?
What celebrates your newfound freedom?
What do you want to take from the past and carry forward?
What new things do you want to do going forward for yourself and your family?
This is a work in progress and may take you a few seasons to create new rituals and traditions. But this is the perfect time to start something new, or let go of a Ghost of Christmas Past!!!
Reach out for support. I started a new drop-in group for partners of sex-addicts on Tuesday nights. I usually run closed 12-week closed groups, but now you can come in for one week at a time ad hoc and get a little extra support in the holidays. Book a call with me here. You can learn about my Tuesday night drop-in coaching group and my one-on-one coaching programs.
Let’s book some time if you need some extra support over the next few weeks. Until then, I am wishing you a messy and glorious holiday season. Perfect in its imperfection.
Until next week, love you all.