Will you be spending your holidays surrounded by people or will you be rolling solo this year? Either way, I’ve got some tips to help you get through it with your sanity in check.

HOLIDAY TIP #4 (Part 1):
Surround Yourself with Safe People

If you are going to find yourself in the company of others over the holidays, you will need to take special care of your nervous system.

Even though my wish for all of you is that you will be surrounded by your favorite people who fill your cup with warmth, joy and laughter in a space that feels relaxed, safe, and cozy at all times — the reality is often different isn’t it?

The holidays can be triggering and dysregulating for many of us.

In a recent LoveLetter titled “Are You An Empath?”, we outlined 10 Ways You Can Stop Taking On Other People’s Shit. It’s a good list to revisit as we head into these next few weeks of holiday overload.

For more information on dysregulation, check out the LoveLetter “Regulating Your Nervous System During the Holidays” for tips on how you can identify when you’re dysregulated, along with a meditation that can help bring your nervous system back into balance.

One of the best ways you can stay calm and balanced during the holidays?
Surround yourself with “safe” people.

A safe person is:
*Someone whose own nervous system is regulated
*Someone you trust
*Someone you feel safe around
*Someone who you can be with and keep your nervous system in balance

Being around other regulated, safe people allows us to co-regulate our nervous system with theirs, allowing us to feel calm, centered and at ease.

HOLIDAY TIP #4 (Part 2):
Surviving the Holidays Solo

For all of you out there who might be spending your first holiday season solo, know that you are not alone.

Here are 5 tips for not just surviving the holidays on your own, but finding magic in the experience:

1. Think of five small delicious things you can do for yourself every day.
This will allow you to anchor into self love and give yourself a beautiful sensory experience while you’re at it.

2. Make sure you buy yourself a present(s), alright?
Wrap it and give yourself a little joy that’s something you can physically hold.

3. Find connection.
On my first Christmas alone without the kids, I had a sleepover with my bestie. It felt fun in a new way. Try to find someone you can connect with, even if it’s virtually. It’s ok to ask a friend for a special check-in.

4. Reinvent new holiday rituals.
This year may feel very different, but use this unique time to build new traditions that suit you. Let it be driven by the way you want to FEEL.

Ask yourself, “How do I want to feel on Christmas morning?” Do you want to feel joyful? What could you do to create joy?

5. The holidays can be really triggering for people, so don’t be afraid to reach out for support!

Seriously, lean on your people when you need to. And trust that you are not alone when it comes to feeling all of the emotions this season.

Bonus Tip: Forget trying to make things perfect!
Perfection is such a vicious beast isn’t she?? And she’s not even real. Perfection is just a made-up concept that we feel pressured to constantly chase, but never arrive at.

So let that shit go this season.

Focus instead on being imperfectly, gorgeously YOU.