What is the difference between codependency and betrayal trauma?

This is one of my favorite soapboxes to get on!! More and more, I have become personally and professionally frustrated with the codependent label. I don’t find that it is super helpful. It’s an easy label that gets put on (let’s face it), mainly women who are in toxic or abusive relationships.

Behaviors that get labeled as codependent or “love addiction” describe the coping mechanisms we learned as little girls. When we have unprocessed, unhealed trauma, it can get stuck in our bodies, and it comes out in two wonky ways:
1. We become hyper vigilant and see danger everywhere when there’s no actual danger.
2. We unconsciously recreate situations where we try to heal unprocessed trauma.
Our bodies continually try to process the trauma stuck inside of us. Until we heal and process it, we can spend our lives recreating scenarios and reliving that experience.

We will do this until we can finally take care of ourselves in the way that we didn’t get to when we were young. 

I define trauma as those times when we are overwhelmed by an event, a person, or an experience. Because of this overwhelm, we are unable to take the necessary, self-protective actions that our nervous systems would take. Instead of going into fight or flight — we freeze, unable to mentally and emotionally safeguard ourselves. Trauma then gets stuck — unhealed and unprocessed. 

One of the keys to protecting yourself and your nervous system is setting boundaries.

I’m here to tell you that it is okay to put yourself first.

You have to take care of yourself. You have to put your needs first, your safety, and heal. 

In my six-month coaching program, Beauty After Betrayal, you will learn how to put yourself first, work to heal your trauma, regulate your nervous system, and protect and love yourself by setting boundaries.

Last week I opened 3 more spots; there are only 2 left! I won’t be opening enrollment again for a few months. 

These final 2 spots will fill quickly, so book your free consultation here.