Last week I talked about how to recognize the 5 lies that keep us stuck in life and love. We learned how to identify these 5 lies, and how they keep us stuck in old and unhealthy patterns.

We know that these lies keep us in toxic relationships, enable our rationalization of bad behaviors, and make us gaslight ourselves.

As they say, the truth will set you free! And now we know how to become aware of when these lies come creeping back into our consciousness and our decision making. But then what??

Well, I have some good news:

We can reframe those lies we tell ourselves!

That’s right:

There is always an antidote to help us shift our perspective when we find ourselves stuck in our old patterns of fear, doubt, shame, settling, etc.

So let’s get into it, shall we??


Lie #1: There’s Something Wrong with Me

Reframe It:
You have experienced trauma, but the things going on in your body and the thoughts that you have in your mind are actually completely normal for what you’ve been through.

Antidote #1:

There is nothing wrong with me.

I am not broken.


Lie #2: I Am Not Enough

Reframe It:
You are more than enough. You were born worthy. You were born enough and you have nothing in this world to do to make you more valuable than you already are in this moment.

Antidote #2:

I am worthy.

I am enough.


Lie #3: It’s Gonna Be Bad

Reframe It:
Sure, there will be moments where it will be bad. With change and growth comes discomfort, pain, and making mistakes along the way. But is it any worse than where you are right now? You’ve got to take that first leap of faith. Lean into the possibilities of what your life could be. Walk towards the life that you deserve and desire!

Antidote #3:

I am willing to release the bad that was/is and embrace the good that is waiting for me.

I deserve to be happy.


Lie #4: It’s Gonna Hurt

Reframe It:
This is similar to #3. Yes, it’s probably gonna hurt. There’s going to be pain in life, but staying stuck is the worst kind of pain. Watching your life slip away, making excuses for his bad behavior, telling yourself that you’re going to be alone… that kind of long-term pain is not sustainable. The pain of saying “ENOUGH” and reclaiming the life that you want and deserve will release you from the pain that is keeping you stuck where you are now.

Antidote #4:

The life that I am reclaiming for myself is filled with:
you fill in the blank here!

(joy, peace, love, laughter, beauty, great sex… whatever you want to bring into your life!)


Lie #5: I’m Going To Be Alone

Reframe It:
You’re not going to be alone. You will find more love. I am a hopeful romantic. I believe that if we put ourselves out there, and we open our hearts, and we do the internal work, the shifts, the self-reflection and the healing that we need to do to love ourselves… then we can be ready to find the right person for us. Not a perfect person, but the right person.

Antidote #5:

I will not be alone.

I will find love again.


I was prepared for a year of really bad first dates once I started dating again. My plan was that I was going to go on a year of bad first dates and then I was going to hire a professional matchmaker to find me someone.

But then Jeff was my second first date. And he is so amazing! Not perfect, but so, so good, and he loves me and cherishes me in a way that I have never experienced before.

What I had to go through to find me, and love me, and know that I’m worthy, and know when I’m operating under one of these five lies, and to choose to believe these other truths instead??