Today I want to share with you 3 ways to shift your beliefs about finding good men. Honestly, I started doing this work 30 years ago, but it doesn’t have to take that long for you! Especially if you have the right person, life, or love coach. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. 😉
As a life and relationship coach, I use a trauma-informed lens to look at repeating behaviors in relationships caused by unprocessed and unhealed trauma. Meaning, I prefer to ask the question “What happened to you?” instead of “What’s wrong with you?” Because these patterns keep playing out over and over again in our relationships.
Shift One: Identify the beliefs you have about relationships.
Do you believe there are good men out there?
Do you think that all men cheat?
Do you believe it is possible for men to do relational work?
Our beliefs start with the relationship you saw play out between your parents (even if there was no relationship). That contributes to your beliefs about relationships.
I can remember watching rom-coms, or couples on TV and, if I saw a woman making the guy mad or not doing what he wanted I would think to myself, “Oh no, she better do what he wants, or he’s going to leave her”.
I’m so embarrassed to say that out loud, but it’s true. That’s a clear example of the abandonment issues I had from my family of origin. It was negatively impacting how I saw relationships and keeping me completely stuck.
Shift Two: Identify the beliefs you have about yourself.
This is where it gets tricky.
The views you have about yourself are inherently wrapped up in the beliefs you have about what it means to be a woman in general.
We pick up these beliefs from the media, our family of origin, church and popular culture, just to name a few. We are constantly bombarded with messages about what it means to be a woman and the value of women.
There is so much negativity, stigma, and bullshit about women and what it means to be an audacious, alive, embodied woman.
Let’s admit it, we have all these negative beliefs (at least sometimes, right??), and it’s coming from outside of us, and it’s everywhere. When you start to notice it and look for it, you may feel that it will never change! I admit I have moments of despair sometimes, but it’s why I do the work that I do.
I’m here to liberate every betrayed woman.
I’m in the business of setting captives free.
And the captivity we get stuck in is the cage in our head.
That’s how we get to shift number 3!
Shift Three: Reframe what it means to be a beautiful, sexy woman.
You are the beautiful, sexy, embodied version of you that is desirable simply because of who you are and who you were born to be.
Our work is to rewrite the belief you have about looking a certain way to be attractive and find an amazing partner. This can prevent you from finding an amazing partner because the person you’re putting out there and trying to be is not you.
If you want to go deeper into this work and ask me one-on-one questions, I’m hosting a FREE workshop on July 8th called Worthy of More.
In Worthy of More, you will learn to….
Reclaim your power over those beliefs that keep you stuck.
Reclaim your power and what it means to be a sexy, beautiful woman.
Stop settling for less in love and life.
Over 130 women have said, “Yes!” to this workshop. I am praying and hoping that you will too.
You are a gorgeous, sexy being. I can’t wait to see you there.
Worthy of MORE: Reclaim Your Authentic, Feminine Power & Stop Settling for Less in Love
You can read about it and register RIGHT HERE.