This week, I received a 911 call from a girlfriend.
She got super triggered in a new relationship.
I remember so deeply what it was like when I started dating my husband. It inspired me to share my tips for online dating and new relationships.
I’ve narrowed it down to Six Dating Tips. The first three are about mindset and practical things. The second three are more about the growth work I believe a woman needs to do to move on and create the relationship that she really wants.
Get Online…. That’s it!!
That’s how we meet people these days!
(And yes, I was 47 when I started dating online.)
Detach From the Outcome
Treat it like a social experiment.
Practice not taking things personally when they ghost you, or say weird things, or when there is no spark.
You get to be really picky about who you’re going to spend the rest of your life with!!
How do you want to be treated, cared for and loved? Have really, really high standards about who you’re going to share your heart, mind, body and soul with going forward.
Now, here are three deeper-level growth recommendations…
Nurture Somatic Resilience
Somatic resilience is all about boundaries and regulating your nervous system.To show up on a date, you need to be regulated in your nervous system and fully present in your body.
Self-trust is created through setting boundaries for who you’re going to see, how you will see them, and what that’s going to look like.
Uncover the Essential You
Get clear about your life values and your values in relationships. Visualize who you want to meet.Determine what is important to you and the values you need to have in common with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
To do that, you have to know yours first.
Are you walking around with beliefs you picked up from your family of origin, from church, from friends, from whatever?!?!
Unpack Your Relational Pattern
Look back at how you’ve been showing up in your relationships, beginning with your family, friends, best girlfriends, and of course, romantic relationships.I know you did not pick the person who betrayed you, right? You didn’t.
Now, you get to understand how you want to show up by looking at how you have been showing up.Take a compassionate, honest look at how you’ve been trying to get your needs met through relationships. Practice meeting those needs for yourself first.
When you meet the right person, he’s just the icing on the cake.
You’re the cake.
You’re the seven-layer beautiful designer wedding cake.
They’re just the icing on top.
The most critical work you do is learning to love and trust yourself.
Those six tips were an essential part of my own journey, learning to trust and date again after my betrayal and divorce. And it paid off… but that’s a story for another email. 😉
The last three, especially the growth mindset work, are what I do in Beauty After Betrayal, my 6-month coaching program for private clients.
And I’ve had so many ladies continue to reach out to me, that I’ve opened up spots for three more ladies.
This program is full and thriving. The women are so amazing.
And the results are beautiful and inspiring–watching them grow, learning to love themselves, and preparing to do the work of being the love of their own life.
These 3 spots will fill quickly, so book your free consultation here.